I favor me personally a
energy lesbian
. Offer me a dyke with power, and my clothes are coming down. I’m not actually fussy about specifics—
butch
or
femme
, younger or earlier, thin or curvy—as long as you have expert, you’re my type. Thus I wish to write an ode to the energy lesbians worldwide: the daddy dykes, the
Bettes
, the technology queers, the bossy girls, the supervisor hotties, the lesbian wearing a wireless headset and bossing me personally about, all the power dykes online. This option is actually for you.

1. Electricity Matches Tend To Be Hot AF

The one and only thing that produces myself drool more difficult than completely charred octopus and fingerling potatoes is actually a hot dyke in a suit.

F*ck myself right up.

2.

Energy

Lesbians Are Hot AF

I am aware that is simply the same explanation I just pointed out, but it’s well worth mentioning once more, sluts. Energy lesbians are HOT. Power lesbians are SEXY. And also this goes

method

beyond simple appearances; its an energy, an ambiance, a swagger. It really doesn’t also make a difference if a power lesbian isn’t really “hot” by social standards. Power lesbians are often, constantly, always sexy, even though they

are

energy lesbians.

3. I Enjoy End Up Being Bossed Around

You notice, as an out-of-her-mind, stressed, always-late, dripping-in-spray-tan femme, Now I need a father to corral me. Certain, i will handle my self in an expert environment. (we enable you to get everyday lez content material, you shouldn’t I?) But place me personally in the world, and that I simply want to end up being guided and bossed around. That will be, if you can deal with me personally chatting right back.

4. They Use Headsets

Exactly why? that are they actually speaking with? I really don’t care and attention.

5. Food Is Bought

Cheapness makes my pussy dry out. Fortunately, power lesbians never play the ridiculous, “let’s split the bill” thing.

6. They Take In Responsibly

I’ve constantly got batshit crazy, manic, party lady friends who transform me into a mom. I am like Mother Theresa when compared to many ladies who, I’ve decided, tend to be my siblings. (Now we’re more mature and much more monotonous.) But in yesteryear, I must be the goody two shoes, the caretaker, the accountable one (which will be low-key terrifying), while in real life, i desired is the main one drinking with reckless abandon, blinking the club, and producing discerning journeys toward restroom. Having an electric lesbian around to drink sensibly and then make myself feel secure permits me to become crazy celebration girl I’ve frequently kept tame caused by my personal cray-cray pals.

7. They I Would Ike To Refer To Them As Daddy

Inside the terms of
Zara Barrie
,

PURR.

8. They’re also Busy through its jobs to find yourself in Semantics Wars online

Everyone loves
energy lesbians
because they don’t care and attention whether you determine as
queer
,
lez
,
bi
, whatever. They really have actually other things to bother with, just like their e-mail inboxes and due dates. Oh, rather than to say, they truly are mature enough to not care how anyone myself recognizes.

9. They Tell Me I’m Quite

Which, on my hierarchy of requirements, reaches the very best. And center. And bottom.

10. Slaying the Patriarchy Is Their Full-Time Job

Energy lesbians frequently work in usually male-dominated industries, such as company, politics, tech, news media, etc. To get the wherewithal to fight through all the micro-aggressions they encounter on an everyday basis—plus appearing means sexier than their unique male alternatives? The feminist icons we need.

11.

Confidence

Is Key

To obtain through all of the misogynist stuff they deal with at the office, energy lesbians need self-confidence. Thank goodness, for thirsty AF femmes at all like me, this self-confidence additionally means all of them unabashedly hitting on females, directly asking them over to their unique faces, and getting all of them residence.

12. Fancy Cheese: A Perfect Aphrodisiac

Energy dykes love to get fancy mozzarella cheese dishes. I like to

eat

extravagant mozzarella cheese plates.

13. We Feast on Oysters

Oysters are unofficial food in the power lesbian tradition. Thanks for visiting my TED Talk.

14. It is possible to Spot One Out Of Training

Whenever I met my personal gf, she had no proven fact that she could attain full daddy potential. But i really could identify it from a mile away. Which is the reason why i’ll be holding a daddy-in-training boot camp for anyone interested. During my bed room.

15. They Actually Do Things Apart From Drink

They’re going on week-end travels. They go to museums. They see their own families.

16. They’ve been Worldly and Learn About Books, Caviar, and Paris

A tremendously cultured lot, those power lesbians. What they can learn from me is Lana Del Rey’s entire discography, where to find a pasta in Ny, and ways to achieve their complete father potential.

17. They are aware Simple Tips To Perform Fees

That’s hot.

18. Loafers Turn Us On

LOAFERS ARE VERY F*CKING HORNY. Provide me personally refined men’s room sneakers on beautiful energy lesbians or provide myself death.

19. Their Ego Is Actually Substantially Lower Than F*ckboys, However Their Swag Stays the Same

Every intercourse appeal, not one associated with immature games.

20. I SIMPLY LOVE THESE!

I truly carry out.

Are you presently an electric lesbian? Tell us for the opinions! Or, like, give me a call.